Okay, maybe not. But at least I can think that way until MD gets old enough to set me straight.
This blog post isn't about being a cool mom though...I just really love Mean Girls and the "cool mom" makes me laugh out loud every single time I watch it.
This post is about being a "yes mom".
Yup...I just invented that term.
You may think you've heard it before, but this is my own personal spin on the idea.
See, I read a lot of parenting articles today that tell you that it's not good to say "no" to your kids. You're supposed to "reason" with them and "explain" things in depth even when they are very young so they don't feel like you are writing off their feelings.
That is not what this is about.
In fact, I have written and deleted a blog post about that particular topic probably 5 times of which my conculsion is, you can say "no" to your kid without explaining yourself. It won't hurt them.
Can you imagine a generation of kids who wouldn't even understand what the phrase, "Because I said so!" means? I mean, I for one am NOT passing on my chance to finally use that phrase to frustrate the living bejesus out of my kids.
So this post isn't about not saying no...it's about saying yes.
It's not his greatest work, but still pretty comical.
The synopsis is basically this guy goes to seminar where he's told he should only say "yes" to things and see what happens. What happens? (spoiler alert) he goes on to do all of this awesome adventurous stuff he never would have tried before because he usually said "no" to things.
I've noticed that as a new (and terrified) parent, I am a big proponent of saying "no".
Usually for safety's sake...often for simplicity sake...sometimes because I'm too lazy to say "yes".
No, MD. You can't play with the hose, you're going to get soaked!
No, MD. You can't jump on Mommy & Daddy's bed, you'll get hurt!
No, MD. We aren't watching Frozen again...unless you want to grow up visiting your mother at the psych ward.
I started really noticing myself saying NO to a lot of things, a lot of the time.
Like I said, usually they were very practical things to say no to, but I started to wonder if maybe I wasn't giving enough effort to the idea of "yes".
So, I've been making a little change...and it's REALLY fun.
I say YES.
A lot more.
In fact, before I say "no" to anything...I try to take a split second to rationalize if "no" is necessary, or if "yes" could be an option.
YES, MD! You can walk around Target instead of riding in the cart (but you have to hold my hand).
YES, MD! Let's stop and play with the hose for 20 minutes right before dinnertime, who cares if you're wet, you're going to love it!
YES, MD! You can stay up a little past your bedtime and eat a special treat!
YES, MD! Let's take all of your books off of the shelf and read 1.5 pages of each one before moving on to the next!
YES, MD! We can blast Frozen in the car the whole way to the store!
(Okay, that last one is still reallllly hard to say yes to, but I'm trying!)
These are just a few examples that we've done lately...I try to let it permeate all areas of our lives.
And yes...we DO jump on the bed. And it's hilarious...and leads to TONS of giggles.
Maybe I was too much of a helicopter danger-everywhere parent before...and maybe I'm too lax of a parent now. The point is, there is no perfect way to parent.
There are still definitely times when "No" is necessary.
I mean...you can't just throw your kid to the wolves...
But it's worth a try, even every once in a while, to say "yes" when you normally would have said "no".
Give it a try :)