I'm writing this blog post in response to another blog post I read today entitled "This Young Mother is Giving Up On Her Kids And I Don't Blame Her". To be honest, the article totally pissed me off, but it opened up a lot of parenting conversation points that I think are really important.
The entire premise of the article is about Stephanie Metz (blogger) doesn't agree with "modern parenting". She believes that parents today are catering to their children's every whim, that we as a society are encouraging kids to feel bad for themselves and are in turn creating a world in which our children will never be able to thrive as adults because are handicapping them for the "real world". That in and of itself isn't entirely false, in my opinion, but a lot of her examples infuriated me.
She brings up the idea that her young son decided not to bring an action figure's accessary (which resembled a toy gun) to his show-and-tell at school because he was afraid the teacher would think it was a toy gun and he'd get in trouble. To Stephanie the blogger, the idea that her son had to decide NOT to take the toy-gun-looking accessory to school is an example of how our society has changed in a way that is deterimental to our children. Her argument is that "little boy behavior" is now seen as threatening and is frowned upon in society.
This is the first area I disagree with.
I'm not going to spout any kind of political speech on here about gun control or the right to bear arms. To be honest, I think that toy guns are okay toys. I won't mind if MD has a toy gun, or two. He will grow up with a father who served our country and has been awarded medals for his marksmanship skills. It wouldn't even upset me to see MD learn how to shoot a gun as he grows up. We own a gun now. That's not the point.
The point is that our reality today is that children, yes, CHILDREN, are bringing guns to their schools and shooting their teachers, classmates, administrators, etc and killing them. So, no, I don't think school is the place to bring a gun, toy or otherwise.
I don't think a ban on toy guns or real guns in schools is harming our children in any ways.
I agree that wanting to bring an action figure's toy gun to school IS typically of a "little boy behavior", however, that doesn't mean it is always appropriate; anymore than a little girl wanting to wear her favorite Disney princess costume to school every single day.
I'm of the perhaps bold opinion that setting limits for children IS A GOOD THING.
Blogger Stephanie then goes on to talk about bullying...oh lordy don't get me started.
She says that in the good 'ole days kids used to get bullied and just "brush it off". Nowadays kids get bullied and their whole world crumbles and, according to her, we as a society encourage them to feel that is an okay reaction.
This is a touchy subject, particularly in Minnesota where bullying legislation has been the talk of the news lately.
It is my opinion that we cannot treat bullying today in the same we treated it when "we" were all kids. It's not the same bullying. It's like comparing apples and oranges.
If MD comes home from school one day and tells me that a kid pushed him on the playground, or made fun of his clothes (which won't happen..because he will be stylin'!) or some other form of "bullying" that has occured for generations...yeah, I'll give him a speech somewhere along the lines of "brush it off".
But if MD comes home from school and tells me that kids are starting unflattering Facebook pages about him, that they are sending him abusive text messages and are posting other things on the internet about him. I will take different action.
What Stephanie the blogger fails to realize is that bullying doesn't stop at 3pm anymore. It follows kids home. With the technology available to kids today, bullying no longer punches timeclock, and it reaches hundreds of thousands of people. And I'm pretty sure we've all learned by now that once something is on the internet, it never goes away. Her concerns about how parenting is going to handicap our children in the adult working world really gets put on the back burner when you think about the internet postings that our children's future bosses will be able to look up about them when they apply for their first jobs.
The blog is then tied together at the end with the pretty bow of "how are our kids going to be able to function in society if they're so coddled?".
To that I say this...kids have been coddled to some degree since the beginning of time.
THEY'RE KIDS!
There's a major difference between giving your kid their every heart's desire, fighting every single battle for them, and sheltering them from the world AND parenting them with every bit of love you can offer them.
You can love your kids, you can protect your kids, you can teach your kids how and why we follow certain rules of society in order to keep them safe, and they can still make it out in the "big bad world." Trust me. My parents did it. I turned out alright :)
The entire premise of the article is about Stephanie Metz (blogger) doesn't agree with "modern parenting". She believes that parents today are catering to their children's every whim, that we as a society are encouraging kids to feel bad for themselves and are in turn creating a world in which our children will never be able to thrive as adults because are handicapping them for the "real world". That in and of itself isn't entirely false, in my opinion, but a lot of her examples infuriated me.
She brings up the idea that her young son decided not to bring an action figure's accessary (which resembled a toy gun) to his show-and-tell at school because he was afraid the teacher would think it was a toy gun and he'd get in trouble. To Stephanie the blogger, the idea that her son had to decide NOT to take the toy-gun-looking accessory to school is an example of how our society has changed in a way that is deterimental to our children. Her argument is that "little boy behavior" is now seen as threatening and is frowned upon in society.
This is the first area I disagree with.
I'm not going to spout any kind of political speech on here about gun control or the right to bear arms. To be honest, I think that toy guns are okay toys. I won't mind if MD has a toy gun, or two. He will grow up with a father who served our country and has been awarded medals for his marksmanship skills. It wouldn't even upset me to see MD learn how to shoot a gun as he grows up. We own a gun now. That's not the point.
The point is that our reality today is that children, yes, CHILDREN, are bringing guns to their schools and shooting their teachers, classmates, administrators, etc and killing them. So, no, I don't think school is the place to bring a gun, toy or otherwise.
I don't think a ban on toy guns or real guns in schools is harming our children in any ways.
I agree that wanting to bring an action figure's toy gun to school IS typically of a "little boy behavior", however, that doesn't mean it is always appropriate; anymore than a little girl wanting to wear her favorite Disney princess costume to school every single day.
I'm of the perhaps bold opinion that setting limits for children IS A GOOD THING.
Blogger Stephanie then goes on to talk about bullying...oh lordy don't get me started.
She says that in the good 'ole days kids used to get bullied and just "brush it off". Nowadays kids get bullied and their whole world crumbles and, according to her, we as a society encourage them to feel that is an okay reaction.
This is a touchy subject, particularly in Minnesota where bullying legislation has been the talk of the news lately.
It is my opinion that we cannot treat bullying today in the same we treated it when "we" were all kids. It's not the same bullying. It's like comparing apples and oranges.
If MD comes home from school one day and tells me that a kid pushed him on the playground, or made fun of his clothes (which won't happen..because he will be stylin'!) or some other form of "bullying" that has occured for generations...yeah, I'll give him a speech somewhere along the lines of "brush it off".
But if MD comes home from school and tells me that kids are starting unflattering Facebook pages about him, that they are sending him abusive text messages and are posting other things on the internet about him. I will take different action.
What Stephanie the blogger fails to realize is that bullying doesn't stop at 3pm anymore. It follows kids home. With the technology available to kids today, bullying no longer punches timeclock, and it reaches hundreds of thousands of people. And I'm pretty sure we've all learned by now that once something is on the internet, it never goes away. Her concerns about how parenting is going to handicap our children in the adult working world really gets put on the back burner when you think about the internet postings that our children's future bosses will be able to look up about them when they apply for their first jobs.
The blog is then tied together at the end with the pretty bow of "how are our kids going to be able to function in society if they're so coddled?".
To that I say this...kids have been coddled to some degree since the beginning of time.
THEY'RE KIDS!
There's a major difference between giving your kid their every heart's desire, fighting every single battle for them, and sheltering them from the world AND parenting them with every bit of love you can offer them.
You can love your kids, you can protect your kids, you can teach your kids how and why we follow certain rules of society in order to keep them safe, and they can still make it out in the "big bad world." Trust me. My parents did it. I turned out alright :)
The real reason why her blog post angered me so much was not all of the examples listed above.
It was that the underlying message of the blog was that so many other parents out there are doing it "wrong" and it's ruining it for everyone else (her). Parenting isn't perfect, because it isn't easy. We all do it differently. Some yell, some speak quietly. Some spank, some don't, Some protect their kids from harsh realities, some expose them to it to "toughen them up". In my opinion, the only time in which we should be allowed to look at others' parenting with harsh judgement is when what they are doing is a REAL physical or emotional threat to their child.
Not some kind of made-up threat of making your child into a pansy.
So, I'm sorry Stephanie, but I am probably the parent who you think you wrote that about.
I'm that cartoon character mom in your head who wants to roll their kid around in a plastic bubble to make sure nothing and nobody will ever harm him.
But you're wrong about me.
I'm not trying to make my child into some "wussy" kid who can't handle himself in the world.
I'm trying to make him into a soft hearted, loving boy who will make this world a better place to live in.
And I have a feeling...it's going to work perfectly.
XOXO
Laurel
It was that the underlying message of the blog was that so many other parents out there are doing it "wrong" and it's ruining it for everyone else (her). Parenting isn't perfect, because it isn't easy. We all do it differently. Some yell, some speak quietly. Some spank, some don't, Some protect their kids from harsh realities, some expose them to it to "toughen them up". In my opinion, the only time in which we should be allowed to look at others' parenting with harsh judgement is when what they are doing is a REAL physical or emotional threat to their child.
Not some kind of made-up threat of making your child into a pansy.
So, I'm sorry Stephanie, but I am probably the parent who you think you wrote that about.
I'm that cartoon character mom in your head who wants to roll their kid around in a plastic bubble to make sure nothing and nobody will ever harm him.
But you're wrong about me.
I'm not trying to make my child into some "wussy" kid who can't handle himself in the world.
I'm trying to make him into a soft hearted, loving boy who will make this world a better place to live in.
And I have a feeling...it's going to work perfectly.
XOXO
Laurel