A crime was reported yesterday evening. Here is the official police report, documented by the official sherriff of the D household.
The Victim
The victim who reported the crime was Mila D. 3 year old pomeranian. 5lbs. She reported the crime at approx 6:30pm CST on March 6th, 2013.
The Evidence
The above shown item is evidence item #1 (and only). It is a small tuft of the victim (Mila D)'s hair. It was recovered from in between the fingers of the perpetrator at approx 6:15pm CST on March 6th, 2013.
Victim's Statement
"Yelp!!!"
The victim made the above statement and promptly ran from the crime scene.
The victim made the above statement and promptly ran from the crime scene.
Perpetrator's Statement
"Bah bah bah goo ga gaaaaaa"
The perpetrator's statement was loosely interpreted as to say, "I just wanted to give her a hug and a big kiss. Things got a little out of hand."
The perpetrator's statement was loosely interpreted as to say, "I just wanted to give her a hug and a big kiss. Things got a little out of hand."
The Perpetrator
The perpetrator was identified as a certain M.D. Above is his official mug shot after being apprehended and placed in confinement (his bouncy chair).
Crime Document
Crime: Involuntary Hair Pulling (The perpetrator pulled the victim's hair, however, he did not premeditate the hair pulling nor did he intend to pull her hair at the time of the crime.
Perpetrator's Plea: "Gaaaaa baahhhhhhhh booooo" (We are interpreting this as a guilty)
Sentence: None. He's 5 months old for Christ's Sake! :)
Perpetrator's Plea: "Gaaaaa baahhhhhhhh booooo" (We are interpreting this as a guilty)
Sentence: None. He's 5 months old for Christ's Sake! :)