There is one...yes, ONE group that is available in the evenings. It's for "birth-5 years old". Seriously. WTF. So you're telling me you're going to stock a room full of newborns-5 year olds and somehow have organized chaos? Nope. You're going to have plain old f*cking chaos. I can't wait to watch. I'm bringing M.D. to f*cking chaos starting next month. I will report back...if we survive.
I suppose part of the incentive for me going to f*cking chaos group is to meet other moms in the area. I'm not from here. I don't hail from these parts...so I kind of started out fresh. Which is cool, except now that I have a child I have a helluva lot less time to go around making friends, nurturing friendships, and traveling to see my friends I've had forever in their distant lands. SO, I have to be resourceful. Who better to befriend than other moms with no time in their schedules? Except, how am I supposed to meet them? In the park by the swingset...sure...if it wasn't freezing cold outside. My best guess is at child groups...i.e. f*cking chaos group.
I'm a little nervous about the other moms at f*cking chaos. To be honest, my fear is not, what if they don't like me? In a complete selfish and narcissistic way I can admit my fear is, what if I hate the other moms? Wow. That's awful. But true.
I have in my head a few types of 20-something-year-old mommies. These are 100000% stereotypes and totally irreverent..but I don't give a shit.
1) People who act like they don't have kids...even though they do
-This type is seriously effing obnoxious when you are the type who has given up those drunk-fest Saturday nights/sleeping in Sunday Morning/go out on the town whenever you effing want in lieu of Friday nights at home with Grandpa's Magical Toys (awesome movie by the way...) Not obnoxious in a I'm-so-jealous-you-still-have-a-life type of way...but more of a why-are-you-acting-like-you-have-no-parental-responsibilities type of way. I can't be friends with these mommies...
-I imagine their spawn to be rule-breakers. The kids who spit in your kid's face, bite them, steal their toys & laugh and run away. They don't give a shit..because their parents don't.
2) SAHM who think they are Martha Stewart
-There are LOTS of SAHM mommies who are freaking awesome. Just because you stay at home does not mean you automatically are in my "no-potential-mommy-friendship" category. I just don't think I could stand having play-dates with a woman who has spent her day doing 1,000,000 arts & crafts, hand sewing her child's clothing, cleaned her entire home & made a 4-course-meal. I barely have time to shower. I don't have time for mommies like that in my life.
-The spawn of the Martha-Stewart-Wannabe-SAHM is the kid whose parents believe will belong to MENSA at the age of 4, but the child is actually so scared of their own shadow they can barely make it through f*cking chaos playgroup without having a heart attack at age 2.
3) Mommies Like Me (obviously the best kind....*insert wink face*)
-These are the holy grail to this momma...and if I can find Type 3 at f*cking chaos I will be super psyched. To explain: Mommies like me are moms who, still like to have fun, but realize their child(ren) and family are a priority over parties, friends, basically everything (except Jesus...duh!) We don't make 1,000,000 crafts/day or make 4 course meals every day but we sure work our asses off to make the best life for our child(ren) and spouse and ourselves too! Some of us work full time, part time, or not at all..and that's cool! We don't try to be something other than what we are. We are Moms, we are young women, we are effing great.
-Our spawn are pretty effing great too. They're smart kids, but they still pick their noses and eat it sometimes...or a lot of the time. They throw tantrums but give the best snuggles at the end of the day. They don't try to be anythign other than what they are...because their parents showed them that's the way to do it. This is my goal for M.D.
Any other Type 3 Mommas out there?? Keep up the good work! Hope to see you at f*cking chaos.